Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Watching Grey's Anatomy the other night I heard the following interaction between 2 of the actors...
George: I don't know how to exist in a world where my father doesn't.
Christina: Yeah that never really changes.

This interaction became very real to me as I attended a funeral for my great aunt Dot. My cousin's, aunt's and uncle's were all talking about how they had been crying so much and they didn't know if they could cry any more. They longed for a time when they would feel better even though she is gone. I wanted to tell them that a world without someone you love never gets any easier. We do have the comfort as Christians knowing that she is with Jesus and not in pain anymore but we are still here on earth. Living with human hearts that have pain and longing. I lost both of my maternal grandparents just over 2 years ago. I still miss them. It does not get easier. It changes. I don't cry all the time but I do still cry. It can be the smallest thing like a tuna sandwich made like Gramma Jane made it that makes me fall apart. It brings me right back to the day she died and the pain is so real again. Then I am ok for a while. The strange thing is that I don't wish that I didn't have the pain. I am thankful for it. I am glad I miss them. I am glad that I have such strong memories. I struggle to exist in a world where they don't but life goes on.


karin said...

Thanks for writing this post, Lindz. It's great to hear your serious side too.

Kelly said...

I am always longing for God to restore every void, and no void is larger than the absence of a loved one.